"If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord" Den erhversdrevne version!

 

Vi har alle læst, eller hørt om dem, geniale og visionære ledere som opbygget et stort emperium, blot for at blive styrtet af mindre, mere tilpasse dygtigt og resourcefulde konkurrenter.

 

De er de onde hersker ambitiøser forretningsfolk. succesfulder diktator iværksætter, hvis evner har sat dem i stand til at opbygger et mægtigt emperium succesfulde forretning, for der efter at gentage klassiske fejl, nå helterne nye konkurrenter kommer ind og overvinde dem lukker deres forretning ned.

 

Fra asken har der dog opstået en guide til alle som vil undgå at gentage deres fejl. det er "Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord" (der forslås at title på guiden tilpasses det marked man gerne vil ind i, hvis man referer til den ved navn over for markedet)

Til råd og glæde, præsenteres en udpluk fra top 100 listen fra Peter Anspachs lister som er relevant til storset alle forretnings områder (og ikke kun markedet for dannelse af et emperium)

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

For seriøst, ansigtløse medarbejder, virke bare upersonlig og er let ikke at syntes om.

12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

Du vil undrer dig over hvad børn kan se...eller for den sag skyld hvem som helst som ikke nødvendigvis er inde i din branche

17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.

Du har betalt for konsulenter/freelancer, medarbejder for en grund...og det er ikke så du kan sige hvor mange du har arbejdende under dig.

20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

For bare fordi det gå godt, skal man stadigvæk passe på ikke at slappe for meget af, eller tag for let på tingene.

21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.

Der ingen grund til at kopier andres visuelt design.  Trods alt bedre at blive kendt for ends egen look, end en andens.

23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.

Ikke blot nå strømmet gå, men også hvis man få en lukrativt opgaver, som ikke lige forgå i danmark.

24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)

Bemærk at der ikke nævnes nogen steder, at SWOT ikke kan bruges after man har lavet forretnings planen.

25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.

Specielt ikke hvis det er one-hit K.O, svagt punkt, fordi alle vil leder efter det, hele tiden, og hvis alle hele tiden leder efter det, så sker det eventuelt

27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.  

lav backup af din hjemme side, din computer og....bare lav back up af alt digitalt generelt...nå jeg tænke tilbage på hvor mage stil jeg har skullet genskrive i gymnasiet..

32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.

seriøst, du burde ikke gøre, så at folk ikke har lyst til at give dig dårlige nyheder.

33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.

for intet er så dårlig for PR, som en sexchikane sag....og dine mandlige ansatte skal helst ikke bruge for meget tid med at konkurrere om din sekretærs gunst.

37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.  

Se 17.

40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.

Hvis du har noget som virke, så brug det.

45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.

Da den tilfældige ansat kan vise sig at være mere kompetent end den nuværende task force manager.

46. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.

Undervuder aldrig nogen.  specielt ikke en mand alene...folk elsker underdogs.

47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.

Hvis noget kan give dig problemer senere og du har resource til at stoppe det....hvad vente du så på?

48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.

eks-ansatte er ikke nødvendigvis, "ikke længere mit problem", bare fordi de ikke arbejder hos dig.   De arbejder bare sammen med andre til at blive dit problem.

49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.

Sun Tzu sagde "Deception is the basis of warfare" og nogen gange er outsourcing mere effektivt.

52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.

dette inkluder din 5-årig rådgiver, som kan gavner dig ved at kigge din forretningsplan, og forretning igennem.

54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.  

Hold. dine. aftaler!

55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.

altså..det ikke fordi man ikke kan bruge en hammer til at få en skrue i.... 

56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.

Det siges at den eneste konstant er forandring, derfor kommer man ikke uden om at kurser og kompetence udvikling blive nødvendigt på et tidspunkt.

57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.

Den her tråd til nye iværksættere eksister for en grund..så at du ikke behøver at venter på nogle andre til at svare på dit spørgsmål.

61. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.

Hvis du absolut skal hoppe ud over klippen, så føles det altså meget sjove at gøre det sammen med andre og være socialt, end at gøre det alene.

64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.

Du har ikke lyst til at lide af arachnophobi, nå du besøger en lidt excentrisk unik forretnings forbindelse, der holde edderkopper som kæledyr.

67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.

Var en af faktorerne til den nuværende økonomisk krise ikke blandt andet fordi man ignorerede faresignalerne?

74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.

det er, "let nok til at min fem-årig rådgiver kan forstå det" der lige tæller her....selvfølgerlig, så er det dog heller ikke en god ide at kalde din forretningsplan for "Project Overlord"...i det mindste ikke offentligt tilgængerligt.

76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)

78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."

Realistisk mål er kodeordet her

82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure. 

At smadre markedet for en selv, er ikke en "acceptable tab for at overvinde modstanden"

85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button." 

Murphays law: "alt der kan gå galt, vil gå galt."

86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.

Internet explore version 6......

88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.

For hvis det ikke virke første gang....

89. After I captures the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.

udover det, så kan en one-trick pony kun underholde så længer.

91.  I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.

Du kan altid bruge en unyttige besked som eksemplet til den næste messenger briefing over ting som, "ikke er vigtigt nok til at forstyrre mig i en fodbold kamp"

100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access. 

og sørg for at de besøger din side, nå de gør brug af det gratis internet.

 

 

og jeg vil lige afslutter med at  sige at denne liste er ment til at blive fortolket i en erhversdrevne og iværksætter øjemed, og er på ingen måde en opfordring til kriminelle handling, ej heller tages der ansvar hvis listen tages bogstavligt....Med mindre det virke, i så tilfælde kan jeg tilbyde unik freelance konsultation til opnåelser af succesfuld og ondt effektivt emperium dannelser

 

Denne Evil Overlord List er Copyrightede 1996-1997 af Peter Anspach.